Nigel and I were driving to Cuddesdon on a Monday evening in February. We were joining other students and staff to hear the presentations by prospective new liturgy/ church history lecturers…and we were reflecting theologically… because that is what we have been trained to do. In particular we were reflecting on the process of moving from the middle year of the course, which for many members of the group had some difficult moments, into the the final year. Everyone is now looking ahead to their curacy parishes, counting down the essays and beginning to realise that we might miss some of the frenetic Tuesday experiences and the friendship of the group.

 

So what has happened to us? What is this strange thing called formation? We pooled our thoughts… it is not taught, the tutors are doing something with a very light touch which is usually barely detectable, the group itself is very important, individually we go through various transitions. Somehow, over the 3 years, we are changed by God. Our conclusion is that a feeling of dislocation or liminality is perhaps inevitable. For a significant part of yr 2 I could identify with the feeling of being in neither one place nor another, rather like Roger, Kermit’s nephew…..

 

As well as all the constructive things going on, there were some deconstructive processes too. Some of us felt dislocated from our home parishes, many people had to face specific or general losses, one or two had quite traumatic experiences. Maybe God needs to lead us (as he did Hosea) into barren wilderness places in order to face Him and be challenged, changed and caressed. I remember a conversation in our prayer group at a weekend in which some of us were not too sure about wanting to change, and we reflected on becoming somehow ‘more’ of the God given people we are. The 2 placements are significant in unexpected ways as we search out the answers to ‘Who am I?’, ‘What sort of Priest will I be?’.

 

Just as mysteriously as the liminality spread around us, so it gradually dissipates like fog, leaving us blinking in the sunlight and marvelling at the view in front of us. We are only too aware of the continued journey ahead with its joys and challenges, but we are more focussed. We have enjoyed different bits of the course and have found other bits frustrating. Some can’t wait to get out there, and others of us will linger a while on the threshold, aware that we will be leaving some things behind as well as carrying much with us.